Thursday, April 16, 2009

Rejected Version of "Tokihi (Part 10)"

Once again, I have written a lot of stuff down that mid-way through doing it, found it unsuitable. In this case, however, was because of what I had done for part 25 of the 2nd story (link below) and got carried away with it since it's done just right after. I ended up doing it as a special instead. The reason being that the time it's set is in May Y4, but the incident mentioned here happens in December Y6, which is unsuitable due to the rushed nature of the plot and, as you can see, describes how the main character of the 3rd story would die if events in Part 25 onwards of the 2nd story did not happen. The special I just did is based on, is if the prevention leading to the event did not happen from the victim's point of view, which, coincidentally, happens to be a main character of the 3rd story.

(Continued from Part 9)
(Related: "Alternate Dimension (Part 25)")

I soon reached home. A lot had happened in school earlier, but the major thing that I did was to show a side of me that others have never seen me with before. Unlike all the other guys, Itsuki never did anything to attract my attention. What puzzles myself is that I am attracted to him, as though my instinct tells me to go with him. I don't really know... wait a minute, my chair seems to have been moved and the seat feels warm and is different from my body heat. It seems that a girl a year older than me was here recently... How is that possible? The door and windows are locked with me having the only keys to those and neither were there signs of breaking in. I have hidden a camera in the celing lights, so I can see what's going on.

Watching the footgage, a girl of my cousin's school in her summer uniform appeared out of thin air. Summer uniform? I thought everyone is wearing the winter ones now, and how is her appearing out of thin air possible? Teleport? Time travel? Those seemed far-fetched, but there's no other exeplenation. Her face and behaviour is very much like Itsuki, but there's no one staying at his house besides himself. Her body seem to be very much like that of a real girl, so it's not possible for her to be Itsuki crossdressing (eww...). She then seem to do something to my computer and then disappear into thin air with a white flash shortly before I entered my room. Looking at what she did, it seems that she had only copied files to my desktop and move over to to another. What are these files?

I open the video file. What I found odd is that the date embedded in the video is the Christmas season of two years from now and it seemed to be a recorded security camera footage. I saw myself deep in thought about something where two guys popped out of nowhere, grab a hold of me and poured huge amounts of liquid of some sort at my eyes. For some reason that seemed to cause pain to my eyes, seeing that I am madly trying to rub my tightly shut eyes, as though trying to relief extreme pain there. Those guys then spun me around a lot of times before pushing me onto the tracks. How mean of them!

Later in the video, I noticed that I was trying to force my eyes open, but failed to. At the same time, trying desperately to get out, but doesn't know which direction to go as the me in the video is too dizzy and blind to know. When I noticed the railroad crossing barrier moving down, I started to get even more desperate and running around aimlessly in the hope I get out of there. This seemed to continue on until I was hit by an oncomming train . The rest of the video was the arrival of police to cordoned off the place as a crime scene. They even covered my body, something they would do if that person had died.

What is this video? A video of me being killed just like that in the near future? But it seems too real for it to be an act. The other file contains two news article relating to the event. One is about the incident happening, while the other contains autopsy reports saying that the liquid that was poured onto my eyes have caused me to permanently go blind (really?) and eyewitness reports saying the people who attacked are strongly linked to the organization that has been targeting my company a lot lately. A funeral has (according to the report dated in the future) been set up for me and that my entire school has a moment of silence and comments from my teachers, classmates, would-be juniors about how good I was. They even interview Itsuki and he said how good I was and loved him. Everyone in the city seems to pay their last respects to me.

Well, I would be sad if I found out that someone close to me were to pass on, but of myself? I don't know what to believe. If it's true, I should take preventive measures. I should start with bringing down their organization or avoid that place completely at that time. But what was I deep in thought with that I don't notice them in the first place?

That is as far as I could go. I might use this when the time in the storyline reaches around November or December Y6. Since it's currently at May Y4, it may take a while to reach there, not to mention that it would co-inside with the other stories.

The problem I'm facing is when writing a part that coincide with another, besides evens that did not affect or involve them, I find that things might be written wrongly, partly due to conflict of what has been written in earlier parts and it's hard to locate or correct them. As you can see, each part of my story is quite long even if the images are to be excluded with text being at regular size.

(Note: "Tokihi" was renamed to "Disoriented Feelings" on 16 June 2009.)